


Stay

by Blueinsideout



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Post-Episode: s12e03 The Foundry, spoilers s12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8405524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueinsideout/pseuds/Blueinsideout
Summary: S12E03 Coda - Dean tries to deal with the events of the end of the episode. Intended as a bit little preslash but could honestly just be really close friends.





	

Sam flinched when he heard the door to the bunker but by that point Dean was already numbing himself. 

 

“Fight down the lump in your throat,” he thought. “Stiffen your lip. Steady your breath. Don’t let your eyes shine.” He’d done this so many times before. 

 

Sam turned to Dean with wide glassy eyes and even though Dean hated himself for doing it he walked away before his brother could even open his mouth. He didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t trust himself not to lash out. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey off the kitchen counter and stalked down the hall of the bunker.

 

Dean slammed the door to his room behind him and cringed at the sound. He knew he shouldn’t take this out on Sam. It was just too big right now. He needed a little time. He leaned against the wall by the door and sighed shakily despite himself. Dean slid down the wall, propped his arms on his knees and buried his face in his hands.

 

For a few minutes the only sound was Dean’s own shuddering, but dry, breaths, and his heartbeat throbbing in his head. 

 

He tried to look at things rationally. This was so beyond a culture shock for their mom. The entire world was different. She lost her husband. She was clearly mourning for the little boys she had left behind. In their place was the journal of a man who was not the man she married, and two grown men with a whole heap of issues. 

 

Why couldn’t she see that the men in front of her probably needed her even more than the boys she had left behind did? 

 

“Dean?” Sam knocked on his door. Dean didn’t answer right away. He scrubbed his hands over his face, but made no move to get up. “C’mon Dean,” Sam called through the door.

 

Dean swallowed the lump that was still threatening to rise in his throat. “Turning in early, Sammy,” he said in the general direction of the door. “Sorry, man. Just… tired.”

 

There was a soft thump from the other side of the door. Dean could practically see Sam leaning his head against it. “Yeah,” Sam said. “Okay. See you in the morning.”

 

\---

 

Dean wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there. At some point his legs had slid out in front of him and his arms had dropped to his lap. The whiskey sat next to him, unopened. He was awake, but so zoned out that he startled when his phone beeped with a text alert.

 

“Are you awake?” the text read. It was from Cas, probably checking in with an update about Lucifer.

 

Dean squinted at the time on the phone. “Sort of,” he replied. “You okay?” 

 

Instead of receiving a texted reply Dean’s phone rang. Dean took a deep breath and forced a smile on to his face. “Hey,” he answered. All things considered he thought he sounded normal, or normal enough. Maybe a little tired, but it was the middle of the night after all.

 

“It was Lucifer after all,” Cas said without introduction. “He’s taken a new vessel. But he’s been banished, so I don’t know if he’s still in that body or not. I don’t know where he is. Banished isn’t good enough, I have to keep looking.”

 

Dean rubbed his forehead wearily. “Slow down, buddy,” he said. “How was he banished? Do you need help?”

 

“Rowena did it,” Cas replied. “She’s was already involved. She’s offered to help put Lucifer back in the Cage once he’s found. But you need to stay there. Be with your mom.”

 

Dean couldn’t stop the half choked mixture of a laugh and a sob that bubbled up at that. “Yeah,” he said thickly, “that’s not going to be a problem.”

 

There was a pause. Cas didn’t say anything and Dean tried to control his breathing. “What happened?” Cas said quietly. “Dean, is she --”

 

“She’s fine,” Dean cut him off. He leaned his head back against the wall and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. “I mean, I guess.” He sighed. “She left, Cas.” His voice cracked on the sentence. 

 

“Dean--” Cas started, but Dean cut him off again.

 

“Said she needed to figure herself out or whatever,” Dean said. “She said she missed her husband and her boys, but we’re right here, Cas. We’re right here and she left and I’ve lost her again…” Dean trailed off on a sob as the dam finally broke and he started crying.

 

“I’m coming home,” Cas said firmly. “Dean... “ Cas seemed uncertain of what to say. He sighed into the phone. “I’ll be there soon,” he said finally, and hung up.

 

Dean’s face burned with grief and shame for breaking down. He swiped angrily at his face and reached for the bottle next to him. He opened it and took a long pull, letting the burn of it sliding down his throat clear his head a little. He had finally had his mom back, right here, alive and well and whole, and she left him. Left them. He took another swig from the bottle and pushed himself off the floor. 

 

Dean knocked the picture of his mom that was on his nightstand over and left it face down on the table. He couldn’t stand to look at it tonight. He took another long drink from the bottle of whiskey and flopped backwards on the bed.

 

\---

 

Dean wasn’t sure what time it was when he woke up. He was in his bed instead of sideways across it. The extra blanket he kept on the chair in the room for the cold winter nights was tossed over him, and his boots were off. He barely opened his eyes and saw the face down photo on his nightstand next to the half empty bottle of whiskey. The image of his mom hugging his dad’s journal close to her chest and running up the stairs and out of the bunker flashed through his mind and he groaned softly.

 

“Dean?” a low rumble came from next to his bed. And there was Cas, sitting in the chair the blanket had been in.

 

“What’re you doing, Cas?” Dean mumbled. He pushed the blanket back and sat up on the edge of the bed. 

 

“You were asleep when I got home,” Cas replied softly. “I didn’t want to wake you,” he shrugged. 

 

“So you sat there all night?” Dean asked groggily.

 

“I didn’t want to leave you alone either,” Cas replied. He hesitated for a second before he pulled his chair closer to Dean’s bed. Their knees knocked together. Cas reached out and grabbed Dean’s shoulder. “Are you alright?” he asked seriously.

 

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged. “Sure. I’m fine. Peachy.” Dean said tightly. “Mom just needed to leave, I guess. Everyone leaves.” Dean dropped his arms to his knees and hung his head. His forehead bumped up against Cas’s.

 

“I know you know this isn’t like that,” Cas turned a little and let Dean’s head drop to his shoulder. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s back and pulled him closer. The angle made the hug awkward, but Dean didn’t pull away. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Dean’s voice was muffled by Cas’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t let this affect you.”

 

Cas sighed and pulled back a little from Dean. He cupped Dean’s chin and raised his face to look him in the eyes. “You keep saying we’re family, Dean,” he said quietly. “So let me be here for you.” Dean tried to look away but Cas held him steady with quiet strength. “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” he said. “I’m sure Mary will come back, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Dean closed his eyes and for just a moment he just let himself rest his head against Cas’s warm hand. “I know, I know, it’s just…” He swallowed past another lump threatening to rise in his throat.

 

Cas slid his hand away from Dean’s face and stood up. He put his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “You need to sleep,” he said. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

 

Dean swallowed again and nodded. He turned to pull the blanket back and saw Cas sliding his chair back to its original position. Dean paused as he was climbing into bed. “Cas?” he asked.

 

“Yes, Dean?” Cas replied.

 

“Um,” Dean hesitated. He fell back onto his pillows and closed his eyes. “Will you stay?” Dean asked quickly and quietly, before he lost his nerve.

 

“If you want me to,” Cas replied. “I’ll stay right here.”

 

Dean exhaled and pushed himself back up on his elbows. He caught Cas’s eye and glanced at the other side of the bed. “You can sit on the bed if you want. S’more comfortable…” he trailed off.

 

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Cas started, and then he took note of the pain still in Dean’s eyes, and the embarrassment in his words. “Actually, yes, Dean,” Cas said. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat with his back against the headboard. “This is much more comfortable. I’ll sit here.”

 

Dean rolled onto his side, facing away from Cas. The side of Cas’s leg barely brushed against Dean’s back when he breathed. For a while the room was quiet, except for the sound of Dean’s still shaky breathing. 

 

“Thanks for putting up with my crap,” Dean mumbled after a few minutes. “And thanks for staying.” 

 

Cas raised his hand and hesitated for a moment before resting it on the side of Dean’s head. He could feel Dean drifting off to sleep as he tentatively ran his fingers through the short hairs on the back of his head and neck. “I’ll stay,” Cas said so quietly Dean barely heard him. “I’ll always stay when you want me to.” 

 

Dean leaned into the touch, and finally fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Supernatural fic, and my first fanfic in years. I just couldn't get past the heartbreak on Dean's face, and I knew he'd probably try to move on past it. So I tried my hand at a little coda fic.


End file.
